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A Different Kind Of Threesome

March 14, 2013 by admin

A Column

By Elicia Phillips

  I know many women who pride themselves on having faithful men in their lives. My question is how do you know that he is faithful?  
   Many women want a prince charming who opens the door when you get out the car, who sits down and listens to their troubles and recommends solutions and many women want someone who can rub our feet when they hurt and prepare a savory meal when we come from a hard day of work or take you to dinner when you least expect it. My question to you is if you find someone who can fill your every need, and make you happy, how would you feel if you discovered he was secretly is in love with someone else?
   I can imagine hurt and rejection being one of the first feelings that may run through your mind, but let us step back and look at the situation in its entirety. Is it at all possible that your husband or boyfriend will love you, but still love another woman equally?
  I believe that this question will be answered by the stories that follow.
 
Stephens Story:
 
 “For about a year now I have been involved with a girl that I feel deeply for. It was not love at first sight, but I grew to love her and respect her. Now many women think that if a man loves a woman he will not cheat on her; that is false. What women don’t understand is that most often when a man cheats it may be for lust or for excitement because the current relationship they are in may not meet a man’s needs.  My situation was different, however. Carol was my girlfriend, but Brittany is the best friend a man could ever have. When I met Brittany, I was drawn to her. It had nothing to do with her beautiful body or her smile, but her personality. Anytime Carol and I had issues I could talk to Brittany. Now people may think that she is only doing that to take me away from Carol, but Brittany actually convinces me to stay with Carol and to continue to work on my relationship.
   After a few months of talking to her, I fell in love with her and we secretly began to see each other. Sometimes when Carol would sleep at her house, Brittany and I would spend long hours on the phone, just bonding with each other. These were the times that I felt the closest to her.
   It does not mean that I do not love Carol. I do love her very much, but I love Brittany too, though the love I have for her is much different. The difference with Carol and Brittany is that she understands me in ways that Carol does not. Am I a bad person just because of that?No, I’m not. It is possible to love two women at once. One of my friends told me that I am cheating, that what I am doing is wrong because I have to hide it. That is true, I do not want Carol to find out about Brittany, and I intend to keep it that way, so I am caught hard place in many ways is my resting grounds.”
   Though Stephen is content in the situation a word of advice to anyone undergoing a similar practice is to consider your spouse’s feelings, put yourself in their shoes, and ask yourself if you can handle your woman doing the same thing to you.Jeanette’s Tale
   “It is impossible for me to be happy with a man unless he has a woman, and whether you believe it or not many women are like that, don’t let the innocent looks fool you. For seven years now, I have dated men, all of which are involved or married. The fact that there is no attachment makes me very comfortable. I have even had men who left their girlfriends to be with me but it made me un-attracted 
   “Chris and I have such a relationship. When we first met, he had a girlfriend and thankfully, to this day he still has a girlfriend. We began having a fling on the side at first it was just a physical thing and maybe some women will call me cruel because I know he has a woman but I do not care. All that matters to me is that I get what I want, when I want it. When I really think about what I’m doing I am in some ways disappointed in myself because when we have sex I can see myself in his girlfriend because I was cheated on before. Now I am cold to it, it does not bother me. We have fun, he is someone who I can talk to and has many good qualities as a person. I do not mind sharing and it certainly does not bother me that every night he goes home to his woman. She does not know about our affair and it works well that way. “
   A situation like Jeanette’s is quite common. As a matter of fact a gentleman once told me that there are more women than men in Antigua, so in order to create a balance each man would have approximately two to three women paired to him. If this is really the case then perhaps it will be useless to get into a relationship unless as Jeanette says, you are willing to share. 
  *The names mentioned in this story are not the true names of the people depicted.
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