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A Solution To The Parking Problem

November 10, 2010 by Eaglecorps911

By Matthew I. Schwartz
Disclaimer: The following is meant to make you laugh and entertain you. It is not serious, and please do not try any of this, or take any of the below mentioned advice.
Parking seems to be a pretty big issue these days, with there apparently not being enough parking spaces and all.
This makes sense as there are more students.
More students means more parking.
More parking means more parking spaces need to be made.
But I’ve been thinking about this, and I’ve come up with a solution.
Not saying that it’s the greatest, but, I’m just going to put it out there, see what all of you guys think.
Does everybody remember two years ago how we were all raging about how expensive gas was (And we just kept on driving. Boy, we showed them huh?)?
Well, I think that the solution that I had for that can be used for the parking situation here at Brookdale as well.
Here it goes: Instead of driving to school, how about we walk? Or run? Or jog? Or take a cab?
But I think that walking is best.
Because, in my opinion, we don’t exercise enough, and the more exercise that we get, the better.
Come to think of it, isn’t obesity a problem as well?
That kind of helps take care of two problems at once doesn’t it?
And would Brookdale even need a gym anymore?
With all that exercise that we’re going to be getting, Oh no wait, more exercise is a good thing.
Go to the gym; after you get done reading this edition of The Stall of course.
I mean, think about it.
How much cheaper would it be if we all just rode scooters?
Those are long overdue for a comeback.
In fact, I just saw a few on sale at the dollar store the other day.
How about we all have a scooter race?
And the good thing about all of this is I think that this can bring all of us closer together.
Let’s make it, like, a group activity.
Maybe it’s me, but I’m kind of nostalgic for the old “Help your neighbor push his car to school or work day,” and want to see those days come back.
And if you don’t want to walk, you can just take the bus.
I mean, one of the reasons why I hated high school so much (Other than all of the homework, and the school lunches, and the STD shots, and the fact that I never made honor roll, or couldn’t get a non-blood related date to the prom, was because I didn’t have my license senior year, and while everybody else was driving to school, I was one of the 1 percen who took the bus.
Well, I hated that. But I outgrew it.
You get used to it.
For example, I still take the bus whenever I have to go to the city.
And what if my idea doesn’t work?
Well I guess that you could make a few more parking spaces or kick about 100 or so students and faculty out, but really, who wants to do that?
So start WALKING to school (Just not naked. Not just because you can get in trouble, but also because you’ll probably make more than just a few people jealous) and to the gym, and make sure that you RUN to pick up the next edition of the Stall, coming out on Dec. 2.

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